The rejection piece feels most painful and I’d like to encourage you to stay with and track the experience around that core wound. I see you’re doing a good job staying anchored in gratitude, so it’s ok to really sit in the hard feelings, it will help with the self forgiveness.

The parts you have difficulty forgiving are a part of your medicine for the world. Rejecting them will only hurt you. Why not give them a name and invite them to tea instead? They don’t have to control you, and they might not want to once they’ve been accepted.